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Food

This is the hardest thing in the world for me to be compliant on.  In fact, confession time, I have been treated for an eating disorder.  I have been known to binge, but nothing "worse" like purging or others.  I have also had a weight problem all of my adult life.

That being said, I was also misdiagnosed and treated for another psychological problem but it was later discovered that I was suffering from sleep deprivation.  I do believe that my eating disorders are more symphtoms of sleep deprivation than anything else. 

I do know that if I go low carb, my blood sugar is better, but makes my gastric reflux worse, which bothers my sleep.  I've been learning that keeping carbs around 120-150 grams a day I overall do best. 

Doing best means to have a minimum of gastric reflux sympthoms, keeping a blood sugar around 110 fasting, and under 180 post pranial.  I have trouble doing that though.

Why?

One is the sleep deprivation thing.  When I'm having trouble sleeping, food is the hardest thing to control.  I make the wrong choices, and I tend to eat a few more carbs at night since that does help the sleep.  At the same time, exercise is difficult because sleep deprivation makes my pain sympthoms worse. 

The next thing is stress.  I've tried all kinds of things to help me deal with stress.  The first was to change my profession from maintenance programming to production programming but while that helped the sleep deprivation, the stress in that job was higher.

Now I teach, which means I get almost total control of my hours (except for next week, but that's another post).  My biggest problem though, is that I really take my job to heart.  I know that what I do may affect my students' future.  Last year was the worst year for dealing with that, and I'm still not completely over that.  Before their major tests I don't sleep.  I also don't sleep when I worried about individual students, etc.  I know that I shouldn't let it get to me, but it does. 

Most of the time, I can look at a food item and decide that it is't worth the extra insulin, but sometimes I don't.  Most of the time I can handle the binging, but every once in a while, I just have to sit down with a bag of potato chips and just deal with the stress that way.

It's a hard balancing act.

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